Last week we had the first of the Wellbeing Parent Discussion groups with this as the topic – What is wellbeing and what does it mean for our children?
There are so many aspects to understanding this. We can easily get caught in the idea that eating your veggies and doing some exercise is all we need but there is so much more than that. The reality is, mental health in young people is at its most concerning with anxiety, depression and self-harm at an all time high, so much so, as a society we are struggling to really deal with what is going on and to even understand what’s happening in the first place. As a starting point we need to understand what being well encompasses in order to support young people in a way that works, that gives them a foundation from which to approach life and to live in the world.
So when we look at the word wellbeing it pretty much tells us everything we need to know – that the wellness is in the being. Yet…we’ve made life very much about the doing. If true wellness was about doing, in all of our achieving, succeeding and drive, then it would be called welldoing. Right?
So how much do children feel that they can just ‘be’ in the world? We live in a very stimulated and high stress society and this is a reality. We can’t change that and we can’t wrap our children up so they are protected by it all, although to a certain extent we can limit it. We’ve all experienced being a child and perhaps remember what it feels like to have that freedom of not worrying what other people think, not needing to prove yourself and not feeling the pressure from outside expectations. There’s something about being young and untainted by the world that carries such a beautiful innocence and freedom of expression that is to be inspired by. This is what we want to nurture and carry through as our children mature.
So what does this all important aspect of being mean? It’s first and foremost about being with yourself and feeling absolutely ok to be yourself. To be with yourself means you need to connect to yourself. And in order to feel this, it’s hugely supportive to be connected to. That’s where we as parents and educators come in. Connection is the thing that children want more than anything. They want to feel that they don’t need to ‘do’ anything to be loved. They just have to show up, with all that they are – the all that no-one else on the planet can be but them. And, if they don’t or feel they can’t, that’s ok, they just need to know that they will always be held and seen for who they are first and foremost regardless.
Wellbeing is about nurturing those inner and innate qualities. Sharing with them the sheer delight and joy they bring by simply walking into a room or confirming their observations rather than dismissing them. It is so simple and builds what I would call true resilience – where you have a solid foundation of being yourself in a world that asks you to be someone or something every which way you turn.
By Sara Harris
First Aid & Wellbeing Officer
See the blog post with future dates for more Wellbeing Parent Discussion sessions in Semester 2