When we use the word responsibility, it often comes with a seriousness. Being responsible is considered a grown up thing that doesn’t amount to any fun being had. It’s about doing the right thing as opposed to the wrong thing and it’s boring. Responsibility tends to get a bit of a bad wrap, even with us as adults! We think that no responsibility = freedom. However when closely and truthfully considered, this is a bit of a trap. A trap that can leave you thinking you’ve got it made yet engenders no growth and certainly no evolution.
So, in regards to our children, when is it the right time to expect a child to ‘be responsible’? Some argue that kids shouldn’t have to be responsible because they’re just kids. But the reality is, there is opportunity to be responsible from a very young age and for the health and well-being of our children this shouldn’t be shied away from. And the earlier we start to learn, the better. It is all about understanding that there are consequences in life and we simply cannot escape them.
Having a relationship with responsibility from very early on is invaluable. This is however, something that can only be modelled, not demanded. From my own experience, when I lay out a set of rules in a harsh and disciplined kind of way to try to instill responsibility, it simply does not work. There is always a backlash, it becomes tiresome and draining for everyone.
Yet when I myself, live in a responsible way, making choices that are consistent and supportive and respectful of the ‘law of consequence’ there seems to be much more acceptance around me and understanding of the need for boundaries.
Children love very clear boundaries, even though it may seem on the contrary at times. They actually do love having a known space they can move freely within.
When we allow children to feel the consequences of their choices, they then have the opportunity to learn and make choices effortlessly and joyfully. They learn very quickly that everything in life has a flow on effect and this flow on effect is either going to be something that feeds them back as a result of making good choices…or, it’s going to be an uncomfortable reality of making a not so good choice. Both options are super valuable in having a relationship with responsibility.
And furthermore, we learn that responsibility supports us to grow enormously. Encouraging our children to seek out responsibility is high up on my list of addressing health and well-being. We all love to have purpose, direction, meaning and love in our lives and children are no exception. Responsibility gives us all these things. A word of caution: True responsibility is not about taking on other people’s irresponsibility’s. It is about being responsible for you and your choices in the full knowing that everything you do affects everyone and everything including yourself.
Being responsible empowers us to know that there is always a choice and we are not at the mercy of life and all it’s happenings. This is freedom and brings an undeniable joy that naturally comes when we are fully engaged in all that life has to offer.
By Sara Harris (First Aid & Wellbeing Officer)