It’s not difficult to observe the influences that children (& adults!) are bombarded with in regards to an ideal image. Both girls and boys are constantly being fed by the world around them – in movies, music videos, song lyrics, magazines, billboards, advertisements…and the list goes on – what is not only acceptable but ideal. Research reveals the impact on teenagers, particularly girls but boys are also affected, with devastating outcomes in regards to physical and mental health.
At Toorak Primary, our students are not quite officially teenagers, yet they will inevitably fall into this bracket at some stage so addressing this issue early is essential. Especially when some studies reveal that children as young as 6 and 7 are already developing ideas about body image. One article reported that in the US children as young as 5 expressed desire to be thinner and more attractive. Waiting for the teen years, is not a viable solution for something that gradually builds over time.
So what to do about this? How do we support our children in an image focused society, where importance on appearance and outer achievements is championed?
Some will recommend that we talk to children at a younger age about this. Potentially yes. Although even though the influx of media and image saturation is strong, in some cases children may not be aware of the pressures (especially younger ones), so talking to them about the ‘issues’ when they don’t actually have one could be counter-productive! And of course not negating the importance of talking to the older children and to any child that displays concerns about how they feel about their body or appearance. Open, honest and very real discussion in all aspects of life is paramount in supporting our children.
The fact is, we can’t wrap our children up in cotton wool and protect them from the world (although I did try and dismally failed at that one). They need to learn how to be in the world and how to not get affected by the pressures and demands to be anything other than themselves. This can be tricky to say the least!
One tried and tested approach (from personal experience), is addressing the issue from underneath. The world is persistently confirming and affirming that we have to be ‘something’. So confirming and affirming the opposite, the inner qualities of children, will support them to build and maintain a foundation where they don’t get rocked or influenced as much as they would without this. We can tend to congratulate and champion the ‘doing’ and achievements without hesitation…however affirming a child simply for the way they light up the room or for their warmth and care or their quirky expression is everything. And instills something rather grand that will have them less inclined to spend a lifetime searching for what they think they are missing or for what think they need to make them enough.
When children know that they are everything already – before they have won the game, or shot the goal, or drawn the picture, or said the ‘right’ thing – they are in good stead to support themselves in and amongst the pressures of the world. They have a foundation that already confirms who they are – this is Gold. And of course, this then asks us to be more loving and accepting of ourselves because the best way to instil a way of thinking is by reflecting a way of being. No amount of the right words will do this.
When we look at our reflection in the mirror, we see how we feel. So what do you see? And how do you feel? Of course we only want the best for our children…but in order to achieve this, we also have to want the best for ourselves. So enjoy a week of confirming and affirming your qualities and all that you already innately are.
Sara Harris
First Aid & Well-being